i used to think i was a pro at hiding my feelings. i use to throw people off my tracks when it came to sadness, confusion, and angriness. i hated talking about how i was feeling cause i didn’t want people feeling sorry for me, i didn’t want to be vulnerable. i didn’t want to be open. eve to people who never place judgement. i feel i’m just getting to a point where everything is bothering the fuck out of me. i feel like my life is not moving forward and i have zero motivation. i don’t even know what i want to do with my life career wise. i just hate being in live with something that half of my city’s population wants to do. how will i stick out from the rest when everyone shares a common interest? 


i gotta take charge somehow and just stop complain.

less talk and more do…


- Aubrey

the fact that even after i forgave you, even after i moved on and forgot about you, even after i dropped hints that i clearly want nothing to do with anything you touch besides our mutual friends and your brother, you still remain a factor. your name still gets brought up.

over the last few days drama came involving you and your irrelevant fuck of party and i clearly didn’t care. i knew what was gonna go down and i don’t understand why it did. shit ain’t making sense.

you say i talk your business. if you just so happen to be in MY business, i’m gonna speak on MY business. fuck your feelings since you said fuck mine years ago. you make me sick to the sore and i cant stand the fact that you’re making it seem as if i still hold something for you. as if your business and well being is of some significance to me cause you’re sadly mistaken. you ain’t shit, never were shit and will never be shit in my book. waste of air, waste of space. 

in the back of mind this is how i’m going to see things from now on. i am separating myself from all things you. meaning of theres a get together and you’re there, i won’t show unless its a birthday party or christmas. that’s that. theres certain things i just can’t bring myself around and you’re one of them.

you complain about situations your put yourself in and i don’t care. i stopped caring a long time ago. i don’t care about you or your bitch. straight.

that’s it

- Aubrey

I don’t want to be 
your entire world, no.
I would be happy
just to be your morning coffee,
your hanging car keys,
your wallet.

Something seemingly
insignificant,
but if lost throws off
your entire day.

(Source: lucyquin)

what i want you to do is to stop thinking for a second and just breathe.
stop thinking about the past, stop thinking about your problems.


right now, just don’t think about anything that is negative and just breathe.

just look at me.
look at my face, look into my eyes. 

now think about what you see.

if my love for you had a colour, what would it be? would it be vibrant? would it be dull? would it be more then two colours? wold i be just one?

kiss me.

describe the feeling that you feel when our lips meet. do your insides tingle like mine do? does it send shock waves down your spine? does it leave you wanting more of me. do you want to kiss me another time?

touch me.

embrace with your hands my being that is right here in front of you.
is it everything you’d hope for? is it comforting? is it home for you like you’re home for me?

think of me. breathe me. know me. hold me. console me.
when times get rough and theres no one else there, remember theres me.
someone thats loving you dearly.

i want to be your first and your last, i want to be your first command, your right hand man. 

i just want you to know that for you, i’m here. always. :)

- Aubrey

rain must stay. relax my thoughts, my temple, my being…

give me that sense of healing.

Cravings.

of all things that make you.
of all things you create.
the taste of your caramel so sweet.
the look you give me, so discreet.

the tender touch, the blissful scent of a man.
the kiss so comforting, the feeling of home when we hold hands.
you make me feel as if i’m on cloud nine
i never thought a day would come like this, you’re finally mine
you are my partner in crime, i’m the bonnie to your clyde
cliché i know but it’s nothing from the truth.

i feel like there’s no one out there for me but you.

i crave you in the morning like a big breakfast
i crave you at night like a midnight snack.
i crave you like white chicks at beaches waiting for a suntan
i crave you like a child on a sugar rush, sipping from a soda can.

you see my point.

the craving is real
so bring that body over here
i really need that “good” feel.

- Aubrey

ancestryinprogress:

twirling
spinning
falling
rising
rolling
jumping
flipping
dipping
tripping
smiling
laughing
joking
crying
breathing
breathing
breathing

dizzy
in
new
love

the way i use to think when it came to letting someone in is the way he’s thinking… it’s frightening because in my world, only i thought things like that so critically and now to have someone think the same things but like 100,000,000,000 worse than i do is… well… scary. 

when i walked into this, i thought nothing more then blanks, meaning that i came into this with a white canvas and my painting tools. i left all other paintings behind so i can make new art… with you. the yearning i had for so long became so unbearable that all i could do was bare it. i had no one to actually regurgitate my emotions to fully. now that i do, i kinda want to do it slowly. i kinda want the same in return. which is what i’m getting.

all i want more now is to not be compared to your other paintings. leave those ones behind. i left mine… don’t analyze me down to my last fibre. just embrace me. let me love you and all will be at peace.

maybe this is what i need to understand…

i don’t know if its kinda like proving myself to you or whatever but i know my feelings are true, this feels right. the word soulmate comes to mind a lot lately and it feels nothing less than real. i want this more then i’ve ever wanted anyone and i’m gonna do whatever it takes to make this work and last. i haven’t felt this happy with anyone…ever.

i finally have someone that wants every part of me inside and out. i could describe in words how good it finally feels to have this but the words wouldn’t signify it enough.

one one thing is for sure i’m happy and i’m gonna be patience. all this is still fresh and i know time will be one of the keys i’ll need. 

i’m ready.

- Aubrey